My backyard has two feet of snow, that's proof global warming is bullshit!
It's been a while since we've seen any rain, so that means rain doesn't exist, right?
I won't bother to ask you what happens to the surrounding air when ice melts. Thinking's hard and stuff, and we Americans have a hard enough time thinking about the tides.
You see, once again in this land people who dare to remember there's this thing called science deserve to be burned at the stake. We should also never discuss the heresy of where the sun goes at night and why it never collides with the moon.
And if global warming is real, then so what? When the Dinosaurs lived it was warmer then it is now, and they did fine. I suppose it depends on when they believe the dinosaurs lived, millions of years ago, or six thousand.
And so what if it's warmer in Europe, that just means they can grow more potatoes in Ukraine, right?
Admittedly, maybe we didn't use easy enough words for more people to understand. How many people today ever step inside a greenhouse? America's agrarian days are fading fast. Instead of greenhouse effect, perhaps we should say "Snuggie™ effect?"
That crazy jet stream that let all that cold air come this far south? Hell, it's just drunk.
Or maybe, global warming is weakening our jet stream and that's what's causing the erratic, unusual weather we're experiencing yet again this year, and have been for years. Record warmth in Europe and snow in Egypt? It's strange and sad that so many people can see that happening and not wonder what's going on.
WITCH! Burn her BURN HER!
Enjoy the polar air, it's supposed to be forty degrees and foggy by the weekend.